MONSTER K

It’s Wednesday, a week before Thanks Giving and I just called my cousin Mary and she said my parents are going out of town for Thanks Giving along with my Aunt’s Patty, Georgie, Kate and Lynn and the Uncles. They are all going to Vegas for a big fancy dinner and gambling. All the big kids are going to friends houses and the little kids are going to be at Cousin B’s Big house until Sunday evening. I guess I won’t be going home for a big meal and tons of left-over’s this year. Oh well, I’ll have to find a different place to hang. And I’ll damned if I’m going to some Nunnery or shelter to eat with the unwashed masses like last Easter. It was terrible. I couldn’t eat because the whole room smelled like ‘Fritos’, if you know what I mean. Even though I was with most of my people I could not handle it.

I ended up eating at a friend’s house the next morning. I was starving. I have never been a big holiday person anyway. Well that’s not entirely true. When I was a little kid and living with my Great Grandmother she made every holiday seem really special. But after that I learned from Ms. Kat {Mother} that holidays were all a hassle and you should wish them all to be over as soon as possible. I’m a good student even for those things I don’t want to learn.

After the phone call I was feeling very half and half. So I thought I would walk the around and see who I can find just chilling out. It has to be a drama free day. Someone set two fires in the school this weekend so we have the option of having the week off or going to Fairfax High for a week. Most are taking the week off rather than to go to another school. I’m down with that. It’s too early to work and my repeat call clients have been picking up lately. So less and less street work for me is great! I have been trying to get Colt, Darn-it and Kenny to get some kind of pager so they can get a call service but they say they don’t like to have to be on a leash like me. But I often have money and they don’t. I more and more don’t have to work the streets on cold nights if I don’t want to. The feeling of saying “nah I think I’m going to chill here for now” or not taking $30 when I want $50 to be with some dude that I wouldn’t touch if he wasn’t paying, is starting to feel good. But I can feel a little distance between me and the family. De-De made a face at my answer when she asked what we would all be like at 25. I never had the allusion that I would always be here on the street. I always believe that I will someday go back to living a regular life. I have not given up on it and unless something terrible happens I never will. They all believe this is where they belong. Rainbow confides in me sometimes that she wants to have an apartment in Hermosa Beach on a quiet street with a plum tree in the back yard. My girl loves her some plums. Everybody else can’t see beyond the street, tricking and the Fam. I love them like cooked food but I don’t want to grow old here. I do have the terrible feeling that I might die here from something stupid. Let’s not go down that street, I’m already feeling a little low.

Darn-it is hanging with the Stoners who are starting to sell weed more and more. Colt and De-De went to Pomona to De-De’s step-sister’s house to pick up some clothes and money from they’re Step-mother. De-De said the Stepmother is nice but her Boyfriends were the problem. They tried to get with her since she was 10. Rainbow went to visit Sahara in the Rehab center in SD. She is going to be there for two week. Sahara’s in for 10 months under a court order to clean up. If she doesn’t complete the treatment she will have to finish the rest in lock down + 6 months and they might tie her tubes, damn harsh! Tim is starting to skateboard which I think is a great thing. Dana is with a guy she met a little while ago. I hope it goes well, he was a trick. So everybody is busy. I forced all the ones that were here to go have coffee with me this morning when we woke up. It felt good to be a little family Momma bear Rainbow wasn’t there but everyone else was in attendance and they seemed to appreciate it.

So now I’m by Plummer Park and there are a few people I know here. Monster K a.k.a. Kyle Thurgood the son of Saint Anne is here. Anne is one of the legendary Saints of the Hollywood streets. Kyle is her real son and most cannot believe it. Because he is the opposite of her, except when you see them together. He is like a kitten with her. A friend once said he wished he could glue them together like Siamese twins to calm him down. I try and keep my distance from him because when we first met I was 13 and snuck up and kissed me twice on the mouth. I was freaked to say the least. He said he was not a fag but he liked my mouth so he wanted to cut off my lips and keep them in a jar, -huh!

Now, when people usually say something silly like that they are trying to tell you how much they like you and it’s not that creepy because you know they are just talking metaphorically. But he had his giant buck knife in hand, with his freakin’ crazy eyes. I wanted to hit him but Colt said he would handle it. Then Anne appeared out of nowhere and took him outside and across the street. So when he sees me it’s the same thing. “Hey you see Ted over? He has the prettiest lips in all of California. I’m going to have them in a jar someday.” So yes, keep an eye and distance from creepy Monster K. So I go across to sit a Burger Boy to see who comes by. As I walk up I see Ms. Tina Mac’s twin brother Gabby sitting at the first table with some blonde boys. I saw Hi but keep it movin’ Gabby is no friend and has proven to pull Drama right out of thin air. One of the blonde boys on the other side of the table says hey T as I step by. I pause in that “Who-What-Why” kind of way. He pulls his hood down and his long hair out of his face.

“Oh my Gawd, it’s Augustus!” I yelled.

[We met at the beach two summers ago. We had some good times. He introduced me to some really cool people. I didn’t know he was in the life. If he is with Gabby it’s either drug and or trade.]

I came over to hug him and he hugged me back.

[Everyone who knows me knows I have irrational issues with blondes. But I do make exceptions for really cool people. But I will cut loose a blonde guy or girl faster than if it was any other person. I know it’s wrong but I’m young, sensitive and somewhat crazy. I’m working on it.]

Ghirl this and Ghirl that. What are you doing here? we both said.

[As we plant ourselves at the opposite end of the table from where Gabby is sitting I can feel the daggers.]

We are catching up when I see a guy run across the street from the park and go behind the Burger Boy. In about a minute Monster K runs through traffic on Santa Monica, almost getting hit and follows the guy behind the burger stand. I always try and keep an eye on my surroundings even while I’m talking or in this case listening. We heard yelling and we all stood up then the guy runs past Augustus [who is going by A.D. now] and he jumps. He grabs his side and he is dripping what looks like blood. We see a little knife on the ground next to his foot. I grab A.D. and we move closer to the counter. I thought we were out of the way but Monster runs past us chasing this guy and pulling his big knife out. He catches up to dude because he stupidly stopped to avoid getting hit by a car! He fell backwards and knocked into a women walking down the street unaware of the madness all around her. Monster caught him by the arm and swung him right into his knife. Amazingly that did not stop dude. He was crawly over the poor frightened woman. I checked A.D’s side and he had no cut but a lot of blood. It must be from dude who ran by us. I looked over and someone was pulling the woman away from the middle fight. It was Rocky from school. What the….? OK I’m a little confused but there is no time for that now. I jumped up without thinking to help Rocky and as I did Monster was swinging his blade. He sees me, stops, smiles, then stabs dude in the leg, cuts open his pocket and takes the bills he finds.

“I told you, you owe me money and I was going to collect”, Monster says.

[The dude screamed from the pain but did not try and stop Monster K]

I have Rocky by his big arms and he has the slightly frightened woman. It looks like her arm got cut but that’s all. For a split second Rocky’s and my eyes meet. We are transported away from our sitch for that second and then back as Monster K yells to no one in particular but to everyone in ear-shot, “If I loan you money you better pay me on time or something like this will happen to you”.

[As if anyone with the sense God gave a turnip would barrow money from a guy like him]

[I guess I stand corrected because two people walk over to Monster K and handed him money.] Humans surprise me all the time. Was I one of the few who thought anything more than an occasional hello to this psycho was dangerous territory?

The woman we were helping made a noise to get our attention. It seems both Rocky and I were holding her against the wall for her safety, but longer than what was necessary. She wanted up. NOW!

Rocky pulled away embarrassed and I offered my hand to help her up. I fished a clean white bandana from my bag and tied it around the woman’s still bleeding arm. Rocky asked if she wanted to go to the Hospital. We both looked at him like he was suddenly speaking an alien tongue.

“No I think I’ll be fine. I’ll clean it when I get home.” said the Lady.

“That’s a good idea who knows who else he’s cut with that thing.” I said without thinking

[Then she looked at me with a sudden shocked expression]

{Rocky smiled and nodded}

She looked around for safety’s sake and slid along the wall and down the street with a quick stride.

I looked back just in time to see Monster K stalking back across Santa Monica Blvd. toward the park, not bothering to look at traffic, just counting his newly returned monies.

Rocky’s face showed that this was not his normal evening.

“Man, Ted is your evening’s like this a lot?” asked Rocky.

“Sometimes I guess.” [but more than I was willing to admit].

“I just stopped to get some fries and a couple of burgers for me and Nicole.” said Rocky

So we checked to see if his order was ready and it was. The guys behind the counter were un-bothered and never pressed.

I walked Rocky to his ‘Fire engine red’ Carmon Gia. One of my favorite cars, I was impressed. He gave me an unexpected long and full body pressing hug.

There we go again with the extras from young Mr. Tortuga. [I made a mental note to ask the universe what was this about.][I was doing this a lot lately, it felt a little odd but less than I thought it should.]

I walked back to the Burger Boy to find A. D. and finish catching up with him. He was a little freaked about the blood until I loaned him a Blonde t-shirt I had in my bag.

One day my Spirits may not be able to protect me like that forever. I have this constant feeling that I may die before my 26^th birthday. I am so weird sometimes.

Can I Have A Good Day

While I was in the hall I heard Mr. Michael Chuy tell Mr. Mark Rockingham that he had a contest this weekend in Venice and did he want tickets. He didn't ask me I certainly wanted tickets. All day I thought about Mr. Chuy in his skin tight Lycia, doing jumps and stretches. Oh my god, he would be like totally hot. I would be a bit embarrassed to ask him about it since he didn't mention it in front of me. I don’t even have a class with him anymore that I go to the Los Angeles Performing Arts Academy (LAPAA). How will I find out the deal, I thought on my way to another boring Math class with Mr. Johnson. Well he’s not boring at all he’s pretty cool. As always it’s the other kids that drive me nuts. It’s supposed to be an advanced geometry class but a few of the parents pulled some strings to get their slow little darlings in there to make them look better for college. The rest of us have to wait for them every day because nice Mr. Johnson always asks after every lesson; did everyone understand what we did today or do you want me to go over it again; and there is always someone who wants him to go over it again. I can see if you have a question or you need some clarification. But there are a few kids that need the whole lesson explained more than once, even more than twice. Me being me, I couldn't take it a few times and I stood up in class and explained the lesson in my own words and then said to the kids in question; maybe you could ask your parents for a tutor so the rest of us can finish this math book before the end of days!?! Half the class loved it and the few acted as if I wasn't talking to them.

I know not everyone can be good in every subject. Heck, I have to have a dictionary with me whenever I write for creative writing class. I am a terrible speller. Mr. Johnson is just like his wife Mrs. Johnson who also teaches math here at Hollywood High. They both are patient and have a good outlook on life. They don’t have any kids. I wonder why?

Lunch was pretty cool; we had a concert by the Motels and one of our school bands Alabaster Night. We have like 9 bands that all the members go to this school. That chick from the Motels, as my aunt Gina would say, ‘that girl can sang!’ I stayed in the back. I didn’t feel like being crushed by all the band groupies. So I sat on the low wall facing the stage with a few of my school friends. None of my Street-Fam is in school anymore and they don’t want to talk about it, so we move on and let it fall.

We were just hangin’ back and enjoying the music and kee-keeing like we do when Rocky Tortuga walks up and says hey. I’ve known him since he and his sister Nicole came to our school in the 9^th grade. I always thought he was cute but I rarely press boys my own age. But he is a Stunner and he has a manly body with a deep sexy voice.

“Hey what’s happening people?” Rocky says just over the music.

“Nothing much just enjoying the sounds,” said my girl Beige

“So Ted I was wondering if I could hang with you?” and he made a hand movement to include the group.

“It’s cool with me, if it’s cool with everyone else.” (Trying to be my coolest self)

He looked around and the gathering and they all nodded in agreement. So he squeezed up next to me. Now I had heard from his sister that he was going to try and make some moves to ask me out or something. I told her that I don’t usually press with boys like, my own age but I like, liked him and would be open to a friendly hang with an option on some lips. She asked if she could use that line. I said sure I’ve got a million of ‘em. So when he walked up I knew the score before the game had even started.

The bands were cool but my favorite part is when the take a break and the D.J’s take over. That’s when I get to do my thing. I’m a dancer and that is where my soul lives. I know all the D.J’s that play at our school and they know me and the other dancers. We like it funky, who care what the other kids like. I feel like I’ve gotten so much bolder living on the street these last 4 years, I guess I had no choice. I look at Rocky and he already is reaching to hold my bag.

“May I hold your bag while you show them how it’s done?”

“Well usually I ask one of my girls but if you want to…”

“I would be honored, besides I love watching you do your thing.”

I will not blush, I will not blush!! “Hey I just do what I like.”

“Yes and you do it better than anyone else.”

He is making me embarrassed so I turn around and the “Beat-Kids” are already starting to throw some hair.

“OK, Rocky if you really don’t mind I would like to work out some new stuff.”

He smiles and bows deep and dramatic.

I’m just wearing cut up jean shorts, knee tights and a sleeveless t-shirt. I reach in my bag and grab a knee length black nylon trench-coat just to jazz up my out-fit. Rocky looked surprised but interested. On the way through the crowd I saw Nicole and kissed her on the cheek and pointed her towards her brother.

The kids were already starting to turn it. I own nothing so I never just run in, but as soon as Le Ron sees me I can tell that he wants to do one of the routines from class. I’d never do that if someone else didn’t start it. I like to do my own stuff. But what the heck it’s a good way to get loose.

We cut it up like we were made of the wind. I can see both Rocky and Nicole smiling in my direction. I guess today is a day and I give a triple turn to everyone else’s single and double.

Now I know it’s a good day.

Barry M. Wasserstein a.k.a. BMW Barry

I called Barry at the number I had for him, it turned out to be a service. A lot of my wealthier customers had them. So I left my number and a time for him to call me. Usually they call me first so I hoped the ghost ‘William Randolph Rapherty’ a.k.a Billy (more on him later) was right about Barry M. Wasserstein wanting to see me again or I would be colored embarrassed. The service was so polite and discreet it made me think again about using one for my own business affairs, maybe. “BMW Barry” as he called himself wasn’t supposed to call for about two and a half hours so I can do a little shopping before tonight, so if the date happened I will look good. School has been out for about fifteen minutes.

I got a note in my locker to meet Miss Clifford Tiberius Takahashi-Bennington a.k.a Cliff-a-tina by the phones on the East side after last class.

After he fell out with all his ghirlz at his now infamous seventeenth birthday party, when his pack got high on his coke and told a reporter from the local gay rag that they all hung out with Cliff-a-tina for the perks of his two gay dads and the legion of his older brother Rowley. I was there but all I said to the reporter was that I was having a wonderful time and thank you to the Takahashi-Bennington’s for throwing Clifford such a Fabu party. I knew not to trash him to anyone, especially on him own damn day. I always thought his ghirlz were trash and it was only a matter of time until they showed their collective stankin’ asses.

So after a devastating two week fall out with every one of those trashy hoes being called out by Cliff-a-tina and hur brother Rowley. There were much tears and apologies after they were cut off from every one of the ‘perks’ they so enjoyed.

There she is now. She is getting classier by the day.

Black you better think twice Italian suit,

Red tux shirt, French cuffs (2 ct diamond cufflinks),

Black leather custom made boots from England,

And a Black bowler

Go on ghirl!

“Hey Ghirl, what’s going on Ms. Thing? I haven’t seen you in a long minute.” said Cliff-a-tina.

[I wondered if she was going to come sniffing around me looking for a better class of friend.]

“Oh hey The Supreme Ms. Cliff-a-tina; ‘Da Distroya Worldz’ I don’t know if my fit is in shape enough to be in your Grand presence.” I said with a little smile.

“Is it that bad now?” Cliff said looking a little sad.

“Yes ghirl you are flattening your old children right and left.”

“Well there are things that have to be done.”

“Yes ghirl you are right and you and Rowley seem to be the royalty to do it.” I said.

“Rowley told me they were trash and just using me right after we all went to the spa at the hotel that time. You remember?”

“Yes ghirl that was fun but they acted like they were the Takahashi-Bennington children and everyone was fronting for them.” I said

“I know I over looked it hoping they were just being flash, but I guess it went to those tired bitch’s heads.”

I could tell he was bothered for being made to look like a straight fool on TV and in print. After the gay rags ran the story with a few bad quotes stuck in there the regular Entertainment media had a field day linking the trouble to Mr. Bennington. I heard he was pissed from Rowley, but didn’t let anyone outside of the family know.

“Hey ghirl you want to go out for dinner with Rowley and me Friday night? Rowley brought up your name and I think it sounds like a Fabu idea, dinner with someone who never tried to cut us. What do you think?” He was smiling at me hopefully.

How could I say no.

“Sure ghirl where and when? A Ghirlz night out might be fun. It is a ghirlz night out right, no BF or hangers, just the three of us?” I asked cautiously.

“Sounds great, how about we pick you up at 8pm at Franklin and Sunset?” Cliff-a-tina said.

“Oh ghirl you haven’t seen me in a real minute, I live off of Ivar in an apartment now”

“Avancer, ghirl, Avancer- give me the specs and we’ll collect you there.”

I gave him the address and touched cheeks and then he hugged me tight and said thank you. I was unbothered on the outside but on the inside I was like, Damn!

With that I strolled off to do some shopping before I have to be home for BMW Barry’s call.

__________________________________

He called on time like I thought he would and we decided he would pick me up in an hour to go to dinner.

I dressed in some of the new things and looked in the new floor to ceiling mirror squares the Sister’s had put up in my room the last time I went to visit the Rents. They take such good care of me, I feel blessed. I changed two more times to get the look just right. If I needed Barry to invite me home I need to look just Fresh.

He arrived 5 minutes late but I’m always late so who am I to complain. I was standing outside when he rolled up in a brand new 1980 black on black convertible BMW, what else. He was dressed to match the car. He jumped out and handed me a white rose and kissed me on the cheek then ran around to the passenger side to open the door for me. He seemed to fancy himself a gentleman and after our first date he knew that I liked that kind of thing. I climbed in and buckled up. Driving in LA was dangerous and I don’t want to die because of some persons bad driving.

“Hello Barry before we go we should talk about what we are doing” I said a little too seriously.

“OK what’s happening? I was happy that you called” said Barry all chipper.

“Well I called you so this is not really a paid date.”

“It can still be if you want I’m fine with that” he said looking ahead.

It’s always hard when people don’t say what they mean when asked.

“Well I wouldn’t mind if the date ended up in the same place as before” I said trying to lighten up the sitch.

“How about if I take us to dinner and you tell me why you called and then we’ll decide what is what then?”

Not bad Barry, I’m more impressed by your straight forward behavior I said to myself and just nodded to Barry. And with that Barry started his new car and left, right, left and another left and we were on the freeway going towards Santa Monica. I’m so glad I decided to wear my hair in two braids (one on each side with Rhinestone bobby-pins stuck in the braids).

My look was as follows;

Black silk shirt w/silver thread,

Black pinstriped suit vest,

Black slacks (that fit just so),

Black studded leather belt,

Black leather boots my cousin Gracie bought me for a present.

Yes I guess I matched the car as well without even trying.

Barry was smiling and humming along to a Bob Marley tune.

I pulled the passenger side visor down to make sure my hair was still tight and was almost thrown to see the ghost Billy sitting right behind me enjoying the ride. He shot me a big grin and a wink. I looked at my hair and smiled back and flipped the visor back. Ugh ghosts they never give up.

“Where are we going Barry?” I said trying not to think about ghost Billy in the back seat.

“You’ll see, I think you’ll like it” Barry said with a self satisfied smile.

“I hope this is not a snobby place that will look down their nose at me?” I asked but not really worrying.

“No, I’ve been there before and I’m betting you’re going to love it” Barry smiling over at me.

Even if I have been to this place I’m not going to let on to Mr. BMW.

“Did I tell you that you look wonderful tonight?” Barry said.

“Thank you sweet Barry, that is so nice of you to say. You look pretty cute yourself.”

The car swerved as Barry blushed…

“No more compliments until you are parked Mr.” and we both laughed.

I have to play this night perfectly to be able to make it back to Barry’s condo to try and get Billy’s crystal cage. Then I realized that I did really have to rush it tonight. I wasn’t on any tight schedule and Mr. smiling ghost in the back seat has all the time in world. So I reclined the bucket seat and enjoyed the good vibration of Bob Marley and the Melody Makers coming through the soft leather seat. I could get used to riding around in LUX with Mr. Wasserstein. Could I stand having Barry as a BF? Would he freak that I was 16 instead of whatever he thought I was. I don’t know, tonight might tell it all.

Barry looked over at me and smiled as he rolled up all the windows making a wind block in the car.

I hope he doesn’t freak…. What am I thinking I don’t want some guy for BF who could be a client, a rich client?

Love is great but I have to (as my Mother says) make those shekels.

I CAN’T LOVE BLONDE MEN

I have to make a confession, well more like a statement.

I can’t love a blonde man.

I can’t really; I’ve tried a couple of times.

It feels like treason.

It feels like our pillow talk will reveal secrets that he is not supposed to hear.

It feels like looking into history and saying what the hell.

If you are Black, Asian, Latino or a person with dark hair and you want to be invisible, just hang with the blondest person you know. Poof! You’re gone. Stay close to the Blondie and enjoy your invisible time.

I can’t love a blonde man.

I’m telling you, Lord knows I tried.

When they speak to me, I look for three things unconsciously, no really unconsciously.

1) A sly accusation, something so under the wire of most humans senses wouldn’t pick it up but when I sense it and my blood starts to race a bit. He thinks I’m less human than him.

2) A back handed feeling of sorrowfulness. He feels sorry for me. He wishes I knew the things he knows.

3) A feeling like he needs to repay and/or suffer for the things he feels owed by his ancestors.

All of this is not said, it’s felt stronger than the amber waves of this man’s power. I get that Massa’s in the field house again, feeling. Don’t get me wrong, I like a little transgression, maybe more that the next guy, but only for a night or two not for a lifetime.

Hey did you know that sexy Blonde guy over there is looking at you? Your new friend is hella good looking. Look I know the Blonde guy talking to me is fine, because all my friends tell me. I also know he’s considered good looking because he looks sort of like some of the men on the TV, Magazines and billboards. People act like I should feel grateful that he has noticed me. Wow he is going to grace me with his presence. People he’s just a man like any other, maybe.

Does he secretly wish I was different? I secretly wish he was different. Maybe if he could be a Brunette, a Redhead or from some other country that would down play our nations not-so secret blonde ambition. How about the Far East? If he were foreign enough, I could disconnect him from the American ‘I bet Blondes have more fun’ fantasy. If he says anything, we all must listen. Thank God we’re American, bombs bursting in air and all that. So full of promise that people put bleach on their hair to look more like them.

I can’t love a blonde man. I’ve given up the chore. I wish I was bigger, stronger, defer than all the things my people taught me. My own great Gram said that white boys smelled like wet puppies when they sweat. What the hell does that mean? Almost every black person I’ve ever known has added to this idea in one way or another. Some of my brothers and sisters have bought the lie so much that they can’t see anyone else.

Hey Sista’ I have a friend who wants to talk to you can I give him your number?

What does he look like? Is he one of your Black friends?

No he’s a white guy but he’s cool.

Oh really, what does he look like, tell me?

He is about 5’10”, 200lbs, blues eyes and clean shaven.

And what color hair?

Light brown or blonde I think.

Blonde! You should have said that in beginning. Give him both my emails and my cell.

Damn!

Scholars have spent many a years working on this problem only to be faced with their children using L’Oreal #105 or Lemon juice and Sky blue contacts.

So I’m sorry Blondie No offense, well maybe a little but I can’t, I won’t, I will not love you again. Not even late at night, in dark bars when no one is looking. Well never say never. It’s all research…….. yeah research.

The GayClic Collab Against Homophobia (from France) - Fuck You by Lily Allen