About Me

My photo

** I think it's time for all creative souls to step forward. Make art,  teach art,  give art share your soul. see if that is what it will take to help stabilize what going on in the world today. November 2016

I’m a Humanist and a Buddhist and I meditate when I can, hey no one is perfect. I’m also a thinking man. I spend a lot of time in my head. I’m trying to grow into the man I would be the most proud of. I really like the guy I am but hey who can’t be better. Loving human kind for a sensitive man like me has proven to be more difficult than I could have thought. I have not given up, I just strengthen my mission.

I’m a good conversationalist and a better kisser. I'm a Photographer, Artist, Painter, Poet, short story writer, good cook and baker. So art and Music hold major place cards in my life.

I have a wonderful Partner who is supportive and inspiring. A nicer and sweeter man I could not have imagined. His name is Herschell

Buddha Quotes

Monday, May 11, 2009

Two week ‘till my 13th birthday

** Adult content**
From the book "Fresh from the Rotten tree" working title
04/20/08- started
05/08/09- continued

In two weeks it will be m 13th birthday.
I started the day on the couch of a friend of one of my new friends. His name is Ben but he told me at least 200 times that he wants to be called Colt,
but I knew from the first night I met him. I started the minute I met him. The problem is when he meets new people he says, Hi my name is Ben, but I like to be called Colt. Most new people still call him Ben or Benny or Benji. The last two he really hates.
So I met Colt when I was at my cousin Rich’s Apartment here in Hollywood after I ran away from home. Yeah that right I ran away from home before I turned 13 well 12 to be closer to the truth. But running away from home is a whole other story. I’m sure I’ll get to it sooner or later.

It’s 6am Saturday morning and I lay here on a once nice beige couch, beer and soda stained and smelling very lightly of piss. It belongs to what seems like a nice but worn out lady with 3 kids, 1 of which woke me up with her night terrors. She was screaming that the man was coming to get her. I wondered who that could be. I bet I don’t really want to know.
So I sit here thinking about my stupid 13th birthday. I know most boys my age are thinking about new bikes and what they will do on their summer vacation. That is the least of my thoughts. I’m out on the street because my cousin who I ran to because he was the only cool outsider in the family. I was only at his place a few weeks. He always told me if I needed anything just call. He seemed to understand me before I did. He had to go and get himself arrested for drug possession and intent to sell. He knew it was coming so he gave me a wad of cash to eat and take care of myself. He said he would be gone for about two years. I hid the money and a note for emergencies in a secrete spot in my ever present backpack. A kid with a backpack never calls attention.
So here I am thinking about my first birthday away from home. There is usually a party and at least two cakes. This year I’ll be lucky to get anything more than a Happy Birthday and some dufus wanting to spank me 13 times. I seriously hate that junk.
It’s two weeks from today, maybe I’ll spend it at the beach and I love the thought of that. I’ll use some of the money my cousin left me. He has been gone 4 months so far. I’m only spending it when I have to. I guess I can splurge a little. The tricks we turn keep us in food and a place for a night. The others buy drugs with some of the money. My cousin must have told them not to offer my any, because they never do and when someone else does they get all protective. That’s cool because I don’t really like drugs. I haven’t done many tricks many tricks by myself. The guys try and look out for me as much as possible, they often feel like the big brother I never had.
Today we’re going to Long Beach to pick up some clothes for our girl Rainbow. Her name is Anne, but because of her multicolored hair everyone calls her Rainbow. OK since I’ve introduced you to two of the crew you might as well meet the rest.
There is Colt; he is the oldest at 17.
Kenny is 15,
De De or Daphnie is almost 15,
Tim is 14 but looks 19 and calls himself Trouble.
Rainbow is 16 and her sister Sarah, who sometimes goes by Sahara like the desert, she is rarely around, I think because she’s a hard core junky she is 20. I’m the youngest I go by Ted, not Theodore and never Teddy and for sure not Teddybear, ugh!! As I said I will be 13 soon.
Before you get all upset no one forced me to turn tricks with men. I did it so I would not have to beg for anything from my cousin or the guys. That’s what they did to get money so hey when in Rome.
I had just come out to my parents’ right before my 12th birthday and after the initial shock they acted like I hadn’t said word one. They still won’t talk about it. What ev’.
So I get up from the couch, thankful that it’s not the sidewalk I slept on two days ago. Ms. Brenda said I could clean up in the morning. So I folded my blanket and sheet like a good house guest and quietly found the bathroom just past the kitchen. As I washed my face in the sink I think is this my new life, sleeping with men for money and couch surfing with people I don’t know? We’ll see. I have already changed a little. I don’t like showers because twice already men have just come into the shower with me. I didn’t ask them to. One guy got it and when I asked him to wait until I was finished he said, Who the fuck do you think you are lil’ bit? I’ll kill you right here and wash what’s let down the drain. So I let him stay. He was old and ugly, maybe 30 or 35. I rinsed off and started to get out. He grabbed me by the back of my neck and pushed me against the slimy tile wall. I had my back to him but I could feel him shaking and grunting behind me. I thought OK wait and see what’s going to happen before you react. What would I do,
nothing? He was way bigger and tougher than me. Just encase I clenched my butt muscles tight. Then I felt him shutter and I felt something warm and wet on my back, GROSS! He leaned close to my ear. That’s a jail house welcome, he said. I must have looked totally freaked and mad at the same time. He looked me right in the eye as I washed off my backside. I wasn’t going to fuck you I’m not some kind of pervert. What? I got out and dried off and walked in the bedroom and saw my cousin’s buddy Big Dex. It was this girl’s crash pad so I was surprised to Big Dex. He could see I was mad and asked what happened, I told him. He told me to get dressed and left the room. [Why do people feel the need to tell you stuff you’re already doing?] I heard yelling from the other room and then quiet. I was very naive to some things then. So I finished dressing and repacked my backpack. When I came out of the back bedroom I saw Dex talking to Ms. Gina. She quickly apologized to me for what happened. Trying to be grown, I thanked her for the use of her shower and towel, but I was still freaked.
Dex and I walked out and across the street to his car. I asked Dex did he do something that I should thank him for. Dex smiled a big toothy face spreading smile and said, Noooo not me. (I have already found Dex to be a super nice guy as far as I’m concerned.) I’m guessing in other situations he’s a killer. I know he carries a gun. He loves my cousin Rich more than cooked food and that’s saying something. Big Dex is 6’8” and I’m guessing close to 300lbs of mostly muscle. His dad is a large black bouncer at a club in NYC and his mom is a Chinese exotic dancer. Black & Chinese is an interesting mix.
I washed my body with the end of a towel and brushed my teeth. As I got close to the living room I could hear the TV. I see the oldest of Ms. Brenda’s 3 kids Robert. He is watching cartoons and eating cereal. He asked if it was OK if he watched the TV. I said Hey I’m a guest in your home go ahead. My Great Grand Mother taught me well. He smiled and goes in the kitchen and returns with a big bowel and some milk. He said, do you like Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch? I said, Does the Cap’n have a boat? He smiled and poured me a bowel. Here is a kid only 3 years younger than me and he is sharing his prize cereal with me. I got I was touched. So I got down on carpet right next to him for some prime Saturday morning ‘toon watching. Before Ms. Brenda and the other two got up we already had watched some Transformers, Tom and Jerry hour and Bugs and friends. I thanked her for the couch and the use of her bathroom. I thanked Robert for the cereal. Ms Brenda’s eyebrow went up. What kind of cereal did he give you? Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch. She smiled and said Snoopy must like you, he never shares his Special Cap’n Crunch with anyone, not even his sister or brother. I looked at him and bowed dramatically and thanked him again. Before I left Ms. Brenda was smiling so I guess it was not too bad that I was there. As I left I made a mental note to buy Robert a jumbo size box of his favorite cereal and some flowers for his mother as a thank you.
Now to find the guys.


  1. thats a great start. I am hooked, and I want to know more.

  2. ...in my sweetest Oliver Twist voice... please sir I want some more. Very nice. Curiousity stimulated, looking forward to the end installment.