I have to make a confession, well more like a statement.
I can’t love a blonde man.
I can’t really; I’ve tried a couple of times.
It feels like treason.
It feels like our pillow talk will reveal secrets that he is not supposed to hear.
It feels like looking into history and saying what the hell.
If you are Black, Asian, Latino or a person with dark hair and you want to be invisible, just hang with the blondest person you know. Poof! You’re gone. Stay close to the Blondie and enjoy your invisible time.
I can’t love a blonde man.
I’m telling you, Lord knows I tried.
When they speak to me, I look for three things unconsciously, no really unconsciously.
1) A sly accusation, something so under the wire of most humans senses wouldn’t pick it up but when I sense it and my blood starts to race a bit. He thinks I’m less human than him.
2) A back handed feeling of sorrowfulness. He feels sorry for me. He wishes I knew the things he knows.
3) A feeling like he needs to repay and/or suffer for the things he feels owed by his ancestors.
All of this is not said, it’s felt stronger than the amber waves of this man’s power. I get that Massa’s in the field house again, feeling. Don’t get me wrong, I like a little transgression, maybe more that the next guy, but only for a night or two not for a lifetime.
Hey did you know that sexy Blonde guy over there is looking at you? Your new friend is hella good looking. Look I know the Blonde guy talking to me is fine, because all my friends tell me. I also know he’s considered good looking because he looks sort of like some of the men on the TV, Magazines and billboards. People act like I should feel grateful that he has noticed me. Wow he is going to grace me with his presence. People he’s just a man like any other, maybe.
Does he secretly wish I was different? I secretly wish he was different. Maybe if he could be a Brunette, a Redhead or from some other country that would down play our nations not-so secret blonde ambition. How about the Far East? If he were foreign enough, I could disconnect him from the American ‘I bet Blondes have more fun’ fantasy. If he says anything, we all must listen. Thank God we’re American, bombs bursting in air and all that. So full of promise that people put bleach on their hair to look more like them.
I can’t love a blonde man. I’ve given up the chore. I wish I was bigger, stronger, defer than all the things my people taught me. My own great Gram said that white boys smelled like wet puppies when they sweat. What the hell does that mean? Almost every black person I’ve ever known has added to this idea in one way or another. Some of my brothers and sisters have bought the lie so much that they can’t see anyone else.
Hey Sista’ I have a friend who wants to talk to you can I give him your number?
What does he look like? Is he one of your Black friends?
No he’s a white guy but he’s cool.
Oh really, what does he look like, tell me?
He is about 5’10”, 200lbs, blues eyes and clean shaven.
And what color hair?
Light brown or blonde I think.
Blonde! You should have said that in beginning. Give him both my emails and my cell.
Damn!
Scholars have spent many a years working on this problem only to be faced with their children using L’Oreal #105 or Lemon juice and Sky blue contacts.
So I’m sorry Blondie No offense, well maybe a little but I can’t, I won’t, I will not love you again. Not even late at night, in dark bars when no one is looking. Well never say never. It’s all research…….. yeah research.
Interesting post. I spent several yrs in the "beauty industry" as a makeup artist over a period of 10 yrs in two different cities. The phenonmena that is blondeness has expanded greatly since the 80's. It almost seems it is THE only standard of beauty in this country for men & women. As a bisexual woman of the African diaspora how I choose to flow often flies in the face of preconceived notions even here in the merry old land of OZ. Probably even more so. I've dated and had relationships with blonde men and women. I've experienced more hassles from so called friends and fam of my lovers, however not from my lovers themselves. I do think that how I approach "dating" outside my color as my folks would say has been different than the many. I'm like Santa... I got a list and I check it twice. A list of things a potential liasion/SO must have in order to even be considered. The #1 question on the criteria list when dating outside my primary heritage line (especially when someone is a blonde American) "Based on what I intuite about this person, if some weirdness went down, would he/she have my back or would he/she turn into a waffling pile of goo and pretend like nothing was happening?" Maybe that sounds harsh, but it really thins out the wheat from the chafe. All that said, I will share a somewhat snarky nickname often reserved for my blonde aquaintances that behave in that clueless, I'm entitled to everything and then some way that certain pop culture icons exhibt in this now... I call 'em "Windy(s)" Ya know, hurricane force winds whipping around in the empty space btwn their ears where their brain is suppose to be.
ReplyDelete>>I really enjoyed your piece “I can’t Love Blonde Men”. I did try to date one blonde guy once, but it didn’t work out. Mostly for the reasons you said.
ReplyDeleteFrom your sister Patty
White boys' sweat smells like wet puppies.
ReplyDeleteDid I?