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** I think it's time for all creative souls to step forward. Make art,  teach art,  give art share your soul. see if that is what it will take to help stabilize what going on in the world today. November 2016

I’m a Humanist and a Buddhist and I meditate when I can, hey no one is perfect. I’m also a thinking man. I spend a lot of time in my head. I’m trying to grow into the man I would be the most proud of. I really like the guy I am but hey who can’t be better. Loving human kind for a sensitive man like me has proven to be more difficult than I could have thought. I have not given up, I just strengthen my mission.

I’m a good conversationalist and a better kisser. I'm a Photographer, Artist, Painter, Poet, short story writer, good cook and baker. So art and Music hold major place cards in my life.

I have a wonderful Partner who is supportive and inspiring. A nicer and sweeter man I could not have imagined. His name is Herschell

Buddha Quotes

Sunday, December 12, 2010


It’s Wednesday, a week before Thanks Giving and I just called my cousin Mary and she said my parents are going out of town for Thanks Giving along with my Aunt’s Patty, Georgie, Kate and Lynn and the Uncles. They are all going to Vegas for a big fancy dinner and gambling. All the big kids are going to friends houses and the little kids are going to be at Cousin B’s Big house until Sunday evening. I guess I won’t be going home for a big meal and tons of left-over’s this year. Oh well, I’ll have to find a different place to hang. And I’ll damned if I’m going to some Nunnery or shelter to eat with the unwashed masses like last Easter. It was terrible. I couldn’t eat because the whole room smelled like ‘Fritos’, if you know what I mean. Even though I was with most of my people I could not handle it.

I ended up eating at a friend’s house the next morning. I was starving. I have never been a big holiday person anyway. Well that’s not entirely true. When I was a little kid and living with my Great Grandmother she made every holiday seem really special. But after that I learned from Ms. Kat {Mother} that holidays were all a hassle and you should wish them all to be over as soon as possible. I’m a good student even for those things I don’t want to learn.

After the phone call I was feeling very half and half. So I thought I would walk the around and see who I can find just chilling out. It has to be a drama free day. Someone set two fires in the school this weekend so we have the option of having the week off or going to Fairfax High for a week. Most are taking the week off rather than to go to another school. I’m down with that. It’s too early to work and my repeat call clients have been picking up lately. So less and less street work for me is great! I have been trying to get Colt, Darn-it and Kenny to get some kind of pager so they can get a call service but they say they don’t like to have to be on a leash like me. But I often have money and they don’t. I more and more don’t have to work the streets on cold nights if I don’t want to. The feeling of saying “nah I think I’m going to chill here for now” or not taking $30 when I want $50 to be with some dude that I wouldn’t touch if he wasn’t paying, is starting to feel good. But I can feel a little distance between me and the family. De-De made a face at my answer when she asked what we would all be like at 25. I never had the allusion that I would always be here on the street. I always believe that I will someday go back to living a regular life. I have not given up on it and unless something terrible happens I never will. They all believe this is where they belong. Rainbow confides in me sometimes that she wants to have an apartment in Hermosa Beach on a quiet street with a plum tree in the back yard. My girl loves her some plums. Everybody else can’t see beyond the street, tricking and the Fam. I love them like cooked food but I don’t want to grow old here. I do have the terrible feeling that I might die here from something stupid. Let’s not go down that street, I’m already feeling a little low.

Darn-it is hanging with the Stoners who are starting to sell weed more and more. Colt and De-De went to Pomona to De-De’s step-sister’s house to pick up some clothes and money from they’re Step-mother. De-De said the Stepmother is nice but her Boyfriends were the problem. They tried to get with her since she was 10. Rainbow went to visit Sahara in the Rehab center in SD. She is going to be there for two week. Sahara’s in for 10 months under a court order to clean up. If she doesn’t complete the treatment she will have to finish the rest in lock down + 6 months and they might tie her tubes, damn harsh! Tim is starting to skateboard which I think is a great thing. Dana is with a guy she met a little while ago. I hope it goes well, he was a trick. So everybody is busy. I forced all the ones that were here to go have coffee with me this morning when we woke up. It felt good to be a little family Momma bear Rainbow wasn’t there but everyone else was in attendance and they seemed to appreciate it.

So now I’m by Plummer Park and there are a few people I know here. Monster K a.k.a. Kyle Thurgood the son of Saint Anne is here. Anne is one of the legendary Saints of the Hollywood streets. Kyle is her real son and most cannot believe it. Because he is the opposite of her, except when you see them together. He is like a kitten with her. A friend once said he wished he could glue them together like Siamese twins to calm him down. I try and keep my distance from him because when we first met I was 13 and snuck up and kissed me twice on the mouth. I was freaked to say the least. He said he was not a fag but he liked my mouth so he wanted to cut off my lips and keep them in a jar, -huh!

Now, when people usually say something silly like that they are trying to tell you how much they like you and it’s not that creepy because you know they are just talking metaphorically. But he had his giant buck knife in hand, with his freakin’ crazy eyes. I wanted to hit him but Colt said he would handle it. Then Anne appeared out of nowhere and took him outside and across the street. So when he sees me it’s the same thing. “Hey you see Ted over? He has the prettiest lips in all of California. I’m going to have them in a jar someday.” So yes, keep an eye and distance from creepy Monster K. So I go across to sit a Burger Boy to see who comes by. As I walk up I see Ms. Tina Mac’s twin brother Gabby sitting at the first table with some blonde boys. I saw Hi but keep it movin’ Gabby is no friend and has proven to pull Drama right out of thin air. One of the blonde boys on the other side of the table says hey T as I step by. I pause in that “Who-What-Why” kind of way. He pulls his hood down and his long hair out of his face.

“Oh my Gawd, it’s Augustus!” I yelled.

[We met at the beach two summers ago. We had some good times. He introduced me to some really cool people. I didn’t know he was in the life. If he is with Gabby it’s either drug and or trade.]

I came over to hug him and he hugged me back.

[Everyone who knows me knows I have irrational issues with blondes. But I do make exceptions for really cool people. But I will cut loose a blonde guy or girl faster than if it was any other person. I know it’s wrong but I’m young, sensitive and somewhat crazy. I’m working on it.]

Ghirl this and Ghirl that. What are you doing here? we both said.

[As we plant ourselves at the opposite end of the table from where Gabby is sitting I can feel the daggers.]

We are catching up when I see a guy run across the street from the park and go behind the Burger Boy. In about a minute Monster K runs through traffic on Santa Monica, almost getting hit and follows the guy behind the burger stand. I always try and keep an eye on my surroundings even while I’m talking or in this case listening. We heard yelling and we all stood up then the guy runs past Augustus [who is going by A.D. now] and he jumps. He grabs his side and he is dripping what looks like blood. We see a little knife on the ground next to his foot. I grab A.D. and we move closer to the counter. I thought we were out of the way but Monster runs past us chasing this guy and pulling his big knife out. He catches up to dude because he stupidly stopped to avoid getting hit by a car! He fell backwards and knocked into a women walking down the street unaware of the madness all around her. Monster caught him by the arm and swung him right into his knife. Amazingly that did not stop dude. He was crawly over the poor frightened woman. I checked A.D’s side and he had no cut but a lot of blood. It must be from dude who ran by us. I looked over and someone was pulling the woman away from the middle fight. It was Rocky from school. What the….? OK I’m a little confused but there is no time for that now. I jumped up without thinking to help Rocky and as I did Monster was swinging his blade. He sees me, stops, smiles, then stabs dude in the leg, cuts open his pocket and takes the bills he finds.

“I told you, you owe me money and I was going to collect”, Monster says.

[The dude screamed from the pain but did not try and stop Monster K]

I have Rocky by his big arms and he has the slightly frightened woman. It looks like her arm got cut but that’s all. For a split second Rocky’s and my eyes meet. We are transported away from our sitch for that second and then back as Monster K yells to no one in particular but to everyone in ear-shot, “If I loan you money you better pay me on time or something like this will happen to you”.

[As if anyone with the sense God gave a turnip would barrow money from a guy like him]

[I guess I stand corrected because two people walk over to Monster K and handed him money.] Humans surprise me all the time. Was I one of the few who thought anything more than an occasional hello to this psycho was dangerous territory?

The woman we were helping made a noise to get our attention. It seems both Rocky and I were holding her against the wall for her safety, but longer than what was necessary. She wanted up. NOW!

Rocky pulled away embarrassed and I offered my hand to help her up. I fished a clean white bandana from my bag and tied it around the woman’s still bleeding arm. Rocky asked if she wanted to go to the Hospital. We both looked at him like he was suddenly speaking an alien tongue.

“No I think I’ll be fine. I’ll clean it when I get home.” said the Lady.

“That’s a good idea who knows who else he’s cut with that thing.” I said without thinking

[Then she looked at me with a sudden shocked expression]

{Rocky smiled and nodded}

She looked around for safety’s sake and slid along the wall and down the street with a quick stride.

I looked back just in time to see Monster K stalking back across Santa Monica Blvd. toward the park, not bothering to look at traffic, just counting his newly returned monies.

Rocky’s face showed that this was not his normal evening.

“Man, Ted is your evening’s like this a lot?” asked Rocky.

“Sometimes I guess.” [but more than I was willing to admit].

“I just stopped to get some fries and a couple of burgers for me and Nicole.” said Rocky

So we checked to see if his order was ready and it was. The guys behind the counter were un-bothered and never pressed.

I walked Rocky to his ‘Fire engine red’ Carmon Gia. One of my favorite cars, I was impressed. He gave me an unexpected long and full body pressing hug.

There we go again with the extras from young Mr. Tortuga. [I made a mental note to ask the universe what was this about.][I was doing this a lot lately, it felt a little odd but less than I thought it should.]

I walked back to the Burger Boy to find A. D. and finish catching up with him. He was a little freaked about the blood until I loaned him a Blonde t-shirt I had in my bag.

One day my Spirits may not be able to protect me like that forever. I have this constant feeling that I may die before my 26th birthday. I am so weird sometimes.

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