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** I think it's time for all creative souls to step forward. Make art,  teach art,  give art share your soul. see if that is what it will take to help stabilize what going on in the world today. November 2016


I’m a Humanist and a Buddhist and I meditate when I can, hey no one is perfect. I’m also a thinking man. I spend a lot of time in my head. I’m trying to grow into the man I would be the most proud of. I really like the guy I am but hey who can’t be better. Loving human kind for a sensitive man like me has proven to be more difficult than I could have thought. I have not given up, I just strengthen my mission.

I’m a good conversationalist and a better kisser. I'm a Photographer, Artist, Painter, Poet, short story writer, good cook and baker. So art and Music hold major place cards in my life.

I have a wonderful Partner who is supportive and inspiring. A nicer and sweeter man I could not have imagined. His name is Herschell

Buddha Quotes

Friday, July 22, 2011

IS SOMEBODY WATCHING ME……? Part 1

NOT EDITED


I'm just an average guy with an average life
I work from nine to five, hey hell I pay the price
But I want is to be left alone in my average home
But why do I always feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone

I always feel that somebody's watchin' me
And I have no privacy
I always feel that somebody's watchin' me
Is it just a dream?

When I come home at night
I bolt the door real tight
People call me on the phone I'm trying to avoid

Well, can the people on TV see me or am I just paranoid

When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid to wash my hair
I might open my eyes and find someone standing there
People say I'm crazy, just a little touched

But maybe showers remind me of Psycho too much

By Rockwell

I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night with that strange feeling of not being alone. I want to believe that I am all alone in the dark but even though I can’t see anyone there I can feel them looking, watching, looking, watching me.

It’s been happening more than usual that I‘ve been having this feeling. When I’m walking alone or if I’m about got out with a new trick there is this strange feeling. Something like if I turn around quick enough I can see something or someone out of the corner of my eye. But there is no one or no-thing there every time. It’s starting to freak me a little. But I have to keep my face on. People already say weird things like maybe you got some bad drugs but that is not me. I was very particular where and who I got my drugs from. Anyway I quit any kind of drug right after my unfortunate coke cane incident. One of those is enough for me. I don’t think its flashbacks either. I am feeling a presence at the dance studio, at the beach and even at school but mostly when I’m alone. I almost took a header the other day on my board, on a sidewalk in Westwood. Someone was calling my name and it sounded so close. I turned to look and almost blam!

I could hear a voice in my ear and not in my head, asking me what I wanted out of life. I could hear it like I can hear anyone who would be standing right next to me.

Then the other day I got a call from a guy named Edward Page, who wanted a date last Thursday evening and he wanted to meet at this restaurant. He was a referral from a regular client, so I said sure. I went to meet him at the restaurant and he was still nice and kind of cute but I started to hear someone saying to ask him if he ever dated anyone from my Fam. I tried to ignore it but the voice was loud and insistent. Then I got this feeling right under my “solar plexus”. I remembered my Grand-belle telling me when I was little that if I ever had a strong feeling at that spot, I should follow it. She called it the “true soul spot”. Now I see what she was saying.

So I tried to ask this cute little man that stuttered a little but had a kind face. I did what I always do I asked it directly. I tried to be a little easier than usual.

“Am I the first date of this type that you’ve tried out?” I said.

“No… maybe 1 or 2 before you” he replied.

I tried to think of who he would pick from our group. I don’t look like any of the others. I’m kind of built like Kenny or Tim maybe.

“Do you remember the dudes’ names?” I asked

“Um n’n’n’no I don’t remember their n’n’n’names. It was a l’l’’l’long time ago c’c’c’can we please just d’d’d’d’drop it” he stuttered.

[He was starting to sweat a little bit but the restaurant had the air on blast]

I got the feeling again and the voice said ask why he was getting flustered. So I did and that un-nerved him more. At that point I felt like I should just leave. So I told him that maybe we were not a good fit for each other. He looked down and when he looked up there was a different man looking out of his eyes and he said he thought we were perfect for each other and that he wanted to continue the date. The next thing he said freak my freak and not in a good way.

So Ted will you be letting the voices in your head make your decisions for you tonight?

[I must have looked like a deer caught in the headlights.]

“Um… excuse me?”

“Everyone has a little voice in their head, but they still go with what they want to do,” he said matter of factly.

[I looked at him directly and his eyes actually sparkled. Normally I’m a sucker for nice eyes but this was a hella weird.]

I looked around La Fab restaurant to see if this was some kind hoax.

“Um… well however I make my decisions is my own business. Why would you say something like that to someone you don’t even know?” I asked trying to sound strong.

“I know you Theodore Kingston; I’ve been watching you for a long, long time” Edward said.

I narrowed my eye’s to see the energy coming off him. [Another one of Grand-belle’s gifts] It was outrageous, full of dark blues, whites and silvers. There was a little orange and green being on his left shoulder.

Now I didn’t need a voice or a new strange feeling to tell me to get the heck outta there.

“Sorry I’m going to leave now but here’s $10.00 for the salad I ordered” I said reaching in my pocket for my money.

I stood to leave and he was around the table before I could fully stand and he put his hand on my left shoulder and pushed me easily back in the chair. When he touched me I felt weak and that never happens to me. I looked to my left and he was back in his chair like he never left it. Oh damn!!

“Look Mr. Page I don’t know what’s going on here but I think I should leave and you should lose my number” I said trying to keep my face on as the Queens had trained me.

He looked me right in the eyes and said in a voice that seemed to be inside and outside of me at the same time.

“Hey call me Ed. Theodore you and I both know you shouldn’t be out on the street or even having dates as you call them with strange men. I can make it all better if you just let me.”

OK damn again!

[I said with my inside spirit voice to all who could hear me. I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE PLEASE] I felt myself stand up and step back from the table.

“OK Edward, let me put it down sharply…You might have started out as a nice guy but I have a bad feeling about this and I’m going to leave now and never see you again. Don’t try and stop and don’t make a scene. Good bye.”

Edward looked a little surprised for a second and then screwed his face up again.

And I turned to face the door but it seemed like a struggle.

He was right next to me holding my arm and escorting me out of the door of the restaurant. I tried to pull my arm away but I couldn’t. Before we got to the door a friend that was a waiter there looked right at me but didn’t seem to see me. We walked outside and I was finally able to pull my arm away from this Fruitcake.

“So are you ready to go to a hotel, how about some place nice like the Chateau Marmon?” Edward said in that new creepy voice he was now using

A loud sound went off in the middle of my brain and I felt a little clearer.

“Hell No I’m not going anywhere with you” I said trough the left over fog.

Just then a woman and man walked past.

The woman turned to me and said, “Ted Kingston I haven’t seen you in a while, come have a cup of tea with me and Monty.”

OK weird #2 or was it #5 I’ve lost count. I’ve never seen this woman and Monty before in my life. But almost anyone would be better than Mr. Edward Page.

“That sounds like a great idea. I would love some tea” and stepped over to the women for a quick hug.

“Umm can you get me away from this fruitcake?” I whispered in her ear as I hug her. Now I heard “We’ll try” in my head in the other strange voice I’ve been hearing as I pulled back. Not again, but I still liked my chances with these two over the sparkling eyed fruitcake or should I say Devil’s food.

She and Monty looked at Mr. Edward Page and mumbled something under their breath and she pressed a crystal into my hand and Edward stepped back. He was shaking his head and when he looked up, his eyes where a normal gray and his face seemed softer.

I said, “OK Ed, I’m sorry the date did not work out, please don’t call me again.”

He looked totally confused. He said “OK” and handed me $200.00 and walked away.

I turned to my new friends and they were smiling big smiles.

“Hello I don’t think I know you but I am Ted Kingston and you are?”

“Let’s get off the street and we will explain everything” they said looking around.

“OK I know a nice café around the corner” I said also looking around.

And we three walked quickly around to the café Starlight.

TAT

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