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** I think it's time for all creative souls to step forward. Make art,  teach art,  give art share your soul. see if that is what it will take to help stabilize what going on in the world today. November 2016

I’m a Humanist and a Buddhist and I meditate when I can, hey no one is perfect. I’m also a thinking man. I spend a lot of time in my head. I’m trying to grow into the man I would be the most proud of. I really like the guy I am but hey who can’t be better. Loving human kind for a sensitive man like me has proven to be more difficult than I could have thought. I have not given up, I just strengthen my mission.

I’m a good conversationalist and a better kisser. I'm a Photographer, Artist, Painter, Poet, short story writer, good cook and baker. So art and Music hold major place cards in my life.

I have a wonderful Partner who is supportive and inspiring. A nicer and sweeter man I could not have imagined. His name is Herschell

Friday, July 22, 2011



My night with Barry was great and getting the crystal was easier than I thought.

On my way home I was actually smiling and singing the words to ‘Hot Butterfly’ by Chaka Khan and Gregg Diamond I heard on the car radio.

[A faded photograph I mailed to you
With feelings I don't want to face
And a long song of surrender in blue
I remember when you took my breath away

Chanson papillon, we were very young
Like butterflies, like hot butterfly
Chanson papillon, we had just begun
We let it slide on by
We didn't realize

All our memories are burning in time
Like a bittersweet perfume
Can you tell me how a love that's so fine
Could have climaxed in a single afternoon

Gone are the days of instant romance
And the nights of slow goodbyes
That was a time of life when foxy was the dance
But then you got wise to all my lies

I was enjoying the after-glow and I’m even letting BMW Barry give me a ride home this morning. I decided to not tell him that I was only 16 and he was a willing child molester.

That is always so weird to me that someone can be considered a child molester of a kid like me. I could see it if they were forcing kids to have sex or if the kid in question was way younger than me but I look and act older most of the time. Most of the Tricks don’t really care how old I am as long as I look younger than them. I was never molested as a little kid and now I do all the molesting- period.

Barry was smiling so big I thought he would break his face. I actually kissed him goodbye in front of my building. It was a great kiss. I never do stuff like that. Then I ran inside and to put the crystal in my dresser. I told the ghost inside it named William Randolph Rapherty a.k.a Billy that I would talk to him when I got home and that he could not visit me at school. I showered at Barry’s and now I need some lotion. Why is it that white guys rarely have lotion and when they do it’s usually the watery kind? I quickly undressed and lotioned up. Now it’s time to picked out a couple of outfits for the day (one for now and one to change later, I have to be fresh!) The easy look for the day is as follows:

Long blue sweater (to the knee).

Fresh white T (oversized).

Daisy Duke (short-short).

Blue tights (to the knee).

Blue and white stripped socks (to the knee).

Spray painted navy blue Army boots.

Long blue silk (to hold my hair back) [boosted from Mother on my last visit].

I packed my shoulder bag and peeped at the clock. I have about an hour before first bell and my silly roommate is still out of town it seems. When I opened the front door there was a dozen pink roses in blue crystal vase with a little envelope that only said, Sweet Ted in pink pen. I opened the card and it was from Barry and it said;

Thank you for a wonderful night

and sweet morning.

I hope we can do it again real soon.

Sincerely, BMW

It is so very, but maybe I put too much on it. Cole always told me to not let them fall too hard for me, but I don’t know how to control that yet. I think Barry will be fine if not I’ll enjoy it until there is a sitch. I put the flowers on the table in my room just in case my roommate gets some strange idea they were for him. OK time to go for real now. I did a quick re-check; home work, music, sunglasses, extra cloths and then I remembered I’m having dinner with Rowley and Cliff-a-tina tonight. Back inside to change what is in my bag. The look goes as follows.

Navy Sport coat w/ travel patches from all over.

Pale blue silk button down shirt (size L)

Loose silk pants died many shades blue.

Spray painted navy blue Army boots. (I’m already wearing)

Around the neck and wrist gold chains (I got three for Xmas and two bracelets from school friends like Cliff-a-tina.

This outfit fits easily in my bag and I’ll stop by Home Ecc to steam it before this evening. So I’m finally off to school and now I only have 25 minutes until first bell. I still have plenty of time since I only live 10 minutes away from the front gate. I looked up and down the street\alley to make sure Barry is not waiting around for me. Maybe I’ll go to Mickey D’s for something before school and then I could really make sure Barry is not following me. If he can’t know that I’m 16 he really can’t know I go to high school. I took the long way around and then back through an alley and across the street. I saw three BMW’s but not one was Barry’s.

At Mickey D’s I saw Jessie James and a female friend. I didn’t ever think she had school friends. I said hey and asked if I could sit with them. Jessie said sure and the other girl looked confused. I stopped mid stride and came back. I hate to intrude.

“You’re Leda Velasquez, right I’m Ted. You hang with Tamila and Yolandra during first lunch and last week you wore a Bitchin’ red sweated with matching red boots to the noon dance, right?”

“Yeah I guess, how did you remember that?” asked Leda looking even more confused.

“If it had something to do with Fashion, Music or Art Ted remembers it” said Jessie James with a smile. – “We have 7th period Art together.”

“Am I intruding, if I am I can sit with someone else, no problem” I said directing my words to Leda.

“No if J. J. thinks you’re cool then I’m cool with you” said Leda looking at the floor.

“J. J.?” I said looking at Jessie James.

She was always very particular about how you said her name. I was going to have to ask during 7th.

I almost grabbed my stuff and walked away. I can feel the ‘Go away weird kid vibes coming off of her. But if she is not going to be brave enough to speak for herself, then why should I?

“OK coolness, I’m going to the counter because I’m craving ‘hash browns’ like a Mother-” I said as I turned.

“Yeah get me one to” said Jessie James and Leda said nothing.

If they were having a Lesi breakfast talk then someone should have said.

Girls are weird sometimes.

After we ate our hash browns over some awkward convo, I left early saying I had to drop off my bag in my locker.


Classes were a blur until lunch. I was standing waiting for anybody but trying to look like I was waiting for no one. You know the look. Nicole and this guy named John Adams Espinoza walked up. [All I knew about this guy John was that all 6 of the kids in his family were given as their first and middle names the first and last names of Presidents. It was kind of odd but not in a school like this.]

“Hey party people, what’s the D?” I said as they walked up.

“Can it be all about you Mr. Kingston?” said Nicole with a smile.

“Not me, I’m just a squirrel trying to get a nut,” I answered back.

“Me and my friend John were about to kick it over to the diner for lunch would you like to kick it or are you waiting for someone?”

“John Espinoza right? You were in that play last semester right? You were good, I appreciated your Irish accent” I told John leaving out his middle name on purpose.

“Yes that was me, thank you, your too kind” John Adams said with an odd modesty for this school, area and city.

“So you in Ted?” Nicole said bringing up back on point.

“Naw I’ma chill, you two enjoy and I’ll stand here and how up this wall,” I said leaning back in the coolest pose I could manage easily.

Now if this was Nicole’s Big brother Rocky I would have seriously considered going. For some reason I have developed a soft spot for Nicole’s brother Virgil “Rocky” Tortuga, what’s up wit’ that? I don’t usually press with other high school guys. What eve’ he’s a cutie to the max.

I went to the lunch line and got a BBQ cheese burger and as soon as I took a bite I wished I went with John Adams and Nicole, damn!

The bell for next period sounded and on to the gym I went. School can be soo boring if there was a way to get out already I would. I feel like I’m in L7. Well maybe gym/ locker room will hold some promise.

Gym boring, I was so bored I played volleyball and we won. There was a fight in the locker room that had nothing to do with me but it made Mr. Chuy came running out of the coach’s room in the skimpiest little green undies I’ve seen since I was at the International Male on Santa Monica blvd. That man could wear a anything and I’d like it. Coach Tanner noticed me looking and gave me a grin. Is Coach Tanner a Home Owner? I filed that away for later.

On to Art class at least I will enjoy that. I should stop by and get someone to steam my clothes for tonight. Maybe I’ll ask Tabitha Park-Moon, the daughter of one of the owner and chiefs of the restaurant chain Hernandez Chan’s. (As I am told neither owner is named Hernandez or Chan). She has some kind of crush on me every since I went to her birthday party. I know she has Home Ecc this period.

Art is cool Mrs. Gabriella Goldstein aka Grace is in today. She is one of my favorite teachers and I love this class. Today I think I will finish my sculpture “Venus de Mano”. You can figure that out, I’m like so sure.

I dropped my clothes off and Tabs was on it before I could ask. I’ll have to do something nice for her, but not too nice. (girls?)

On way to class I run into Ms. Jessie James aka J. J.

“Hey J. J., What’s happening?” I asked.

Her eyebrow went up and she gave me such a look.

“Oh is that name reserved for one Ms. Leda Velasquez only?”

Jessie punched me in the shoulder so hard. I almost hit her back.

“Damn girl, why you hitting me? It’s not my lesbian affair,” I said rubbing my shoulder.

“Ted I am not having a lesbian affair, we’re just friends,” Jessie said looking around as we walked.

“Tell that to your girl, she was way twisted that I sat with you guys this morning.”

“She has some issues, but that had nothing to do with her and me. Now get that right and don’t be starting any rumors,” Jessie said giving me her I’m not playing face.

“Please girl I don’t need to start a rumor about you. As long as I’ve know you, you have not worn one piece of visible female clothing. The summer before 9th grade, I’m told you had long hair down your back and then you showed up to school with your hair in the Swiss-boy cut. I like you so I wouldn’t say anything bad about you. But if you hit me like that again I’m gonna have to drop you like something touched by Miss Know-it-all Tiffany G.”

We both laughed it off.

“I’m sorry Ted; I guess I’m a bit touchy about the Lesbian stuff lately. My Mom asked me if I was one earlier this week and she wasn’t kidding,” Jessie looked around again.

“Damn girl you got the Rents coming at ya! What did you say?”

“I told her I wasn’t but Ted I’m not totally sure.”

“Jessie from the little I know girls, some female sexuality is fluid. Maybe you need to experiment.”

“I have not experimented, Ted Kingston!” She said a little too loud.

“OK girl that is your own damn biz. Remember I’m cool with whatever,” I said quickly before she started swinging again. (One per customer)

“OK I just don’t know what I am, but I am not with Leda Velasquez that’s for sure!”

“Let’s go in and do some art to relax you,” I said opening the door to room 103-A.

“Does everyone think I’m a Lesi,” She asked quietly.

“I guess, does everyone think I suck dick for A’s?” I asked not really caring.

“Maybe, But you don’t do you?” she asked uncharacteristically timid.

“Girl please, you know I owe you one in the arm. Don’t make me cash that check.” I said a little embarrassed by the question.

I walked over to our closet to put my stuff down and pull on my smock. So some people think I suck dick for grades, damn! I would be a straight ‘A’ student on the Honor roll and no home work if I did that. I guess they don’t know the boy has skills.


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